I like sad eyes, bad guys, mouthful of white lies, kiss me in the corridor and quick to tell me good bye.”– Ghost, Halsey
I liked you because you were everything I’m not. And everything I want. Part Typical bad guy. The kind I read about in books. But also the typical gentleman. Chivalry. I liked how you looked after me. You liked how I looked. I liked how you drove. You liked how I spoke. I liked the look in your eyes and you; you liked my smile. You told me you know my type. You said I am a devil in disguise. You said I hide behind my good girl persona. But you can see right through it. You can see that I wanna be wild. I wanna be like you. And I told you I know your type too. You were exactly my type. You act all tough and shit, but you know how to treat a girl. The things I find repulsive in others, you make them look classy. Like something I would want to try.
You said I smelled like un-felt kisses and my lips looked like they were waiting to be claimed. You said I am something to be careful of. I could break your heart in minutes and leave you in pieces. I leant up close and whispered, “right back at you.” I was never this bold. I like this side of me.
I liked the way your eyes lit up when you talked about your dreams and aspirations. You had it all figured out. And I, I was nothing. I was busy jabbing at a million ideas, looking for the perfect one. And I liked you because you were not me. But also because you were. Picky like me, Classy like me. Hiding behind your bad boy persona like I hide behind my good girl glasses.
In reality, you and I were so alike but different. We were the perfect kind of chaos together. You leaned in close and whispered, “maybe I’d ask you out”. And I, taken aback by your closeness, by my need to touch you, by the smell of whiskey and smoke, whispered a maybe back.
And we left it at that. Two maybes hanging in the air, never to be revisited.
And maybe it’s better this way.