I like sad eyes, bad guys, mouthful of white lies, kiss me in the corridor and quick to tell me good bye.”– Ghost, Halsey
I liked you because you were everything I’m not. And everything I want. Part Typical bad guy. The kind I read about in books. But also the typical gentleman. Chivalry. I liked how you looked after me. You liked how I looked. I liked how you drove. You liked how I spoke. I liked the look in your eyes and you, you liked my smile. You told me you know my type. You said I am a devil in disguise. You said I hide behind my good girl persona. But you can see right through it. You can see that I wanna be wild. I wanna be like you. And I told you I know your type too. You were exactly my type. You act all tough and shit but you know how to treat a girl. The things I find repulsive in others, you make them look classy. Like something I would want to try.
You said I smelled like un-felt kisses and my lips looked like they were waiting to be claimed. You said I am something to be careful of. I could break your heart in minutes and leave you in pieces. I leant up close and whispered “right back at you.” I was never this bold. I like this side of me.
I liked the way yours eyes lit up when you talked about your dreams and aspirations. You had it all figured out. And I, I was nothing. I was busy jabbing at a million ideas, looking for the perfect one. And I liked you because you were not me. But also because you were. Picky like me, Classy like me. Hiding behind your bad boy persona like I hide behind my good girl glasses.
In reality, you and I were so alike but different. We were the perfect kind of chaos together. You leaned in close and whispered “maybe I’d ask you out”. And I taken aback by your closeness, by my need to touch you, by the smell of whiskey and smoke, whispered a maybe back.
And we left it at that. Two maybes hanging in the air, never to be revisited.
And maybe it’s better this way.